warneyswhip

With some people, the onion metaphor rings true, and you feel like the more you know them, the more layers you discover.

Others, are more like tomatoes, and if you peel back the skin you just end up with a big red sploggy mess that’s hard to manage.

The onion people are the ones that teach us more about ourselves, because as we peel back their layers, so too do we reveal our own secrets.

Sometimes it takes an onion with courage, to tell another onion that it is ok to reveal a layer hidden, or perhaps two onions when put together find the confidence to reveal themselves to one another.

The tomatoes wish they were onions, and try to disguise themselves as such by adding fake layers, typically through chemical enhancement or deception.

On the other hand, some onions try to disguise themselves as tomatoes, and pretend to be less than they are.

This is usually because a tomato who very much wished they were an onion, put the onion down, and made them feel like they were nothing more than a tomato.

If you know an onion  that has happened to, remind them of what makes them special, that they are unique, that they have layers, and that the fascinating part about our world is that by discovering the layers of other people we discover who we are.

Horses too have layers, and while a horse may seem like a simple being, eat, sleep, poop etc, they in fact take in a lot more than most non horsey people would give them credit for.

As rider it’s our job to peel back the layers of our horses, and learn about them, so that we can help them to understand what we are asking.

Only when we understand the layers of our horse, can we unlock the key to his training success.

Many people now term me the Lusitano girl, because of course I ride two Lusitanos.

In actual fact, I grew up riding warmbloods, and my favorite horse in history was a 14 hand high warmblood pony cross named Zen, who loved me just as much as I loved him.

Ask any of the top riders, judges, spectators, trainers, and they will tell you the same golden truth…

“A top horse, is a top horse, regardless of his breed.”

It may be the son of a stock horse, crossed with an arab, but if it can move, and has the mind to try, then a good rider will peel back the layers, and produce something magical.

Sometimes I wonder if technology really makes things faster, particularly when trying to figure out how to turn on the plasma tv, or getting mad at the microwave that won’t stop beeping at me….The food is ready, I’ve got the message..thanks!

Technology for sure has made certain things easier, and I’m really not sure that I could be so far from home if I couldn’t “Skype ” my mum every night, and every morning.

She tells me of a time when you had to send letters by ship, and it could take up to 6 weeks to get your message across the Atlantic.

In that respect, technology has made my desire to ride horses overseas, far more accessible, and a lot less lonely.

Certified “Web Trainer” my mum is able to watch YouTube clips of me the same day I took the video, and I can reflect immediately on my training floors before facing the day ahead.

Technology has been the most help in the world of medicine, and after reading an article about a woman whose bionic arm can actually sense and feel what she is touching, I felt in awe of what research in these areas can produce.

The people who complain the most about technology, are usually the first to check the weather forecast, and while I do think that it makes kids anti-social, it also connects them in other less face to face, but perhaps far more communicative, ways.

We wonder now how we lived without Facebook, and admit it has gone a long way to abolish the token catch up conversation at parties, as now, the minute you arrive, you already know exactly where everyone is at, and what they are doing.

The older generation say they could live without technology, and then the power goes out, and I get a phone call from a pretty distressed relative who hasn’t been able to have her morning cup of tea!

So what is technology to you? Is it the latest game your addicted to? Is it your means of communicating with a long away home? Is it the annoying beep on the microwave oven, or the pale square-headed child you are raising who only talks in cyber speak?

What would your day be without it? Would you have more friends, or less friends, and would the depth of this friendship be deeper?

As a journalist, I certainly am not going to be a hero, and say I could live without it. If my email is down for half an hour i’m banging my head against the wall.

Watching Downton Abby, and I am reminded of the world those “old people” used to live in, when technology was still “those waves wafting about”, that Maggie Smith was so deathly scared of, .

I wonder, could we live in that world today?

In the horse world technology has made little difference. It’s not like in swimming, where a split second touch monitor can determine the gold and silver medal, and no matter how many state of the art gadgets are created, our sport remains in the eye of the beholder.

UNTIL recently, when a panel was created to supervise the judging system, able to instantly replay a movement to check that the judge had in fact seen that the horse was late in the change, or stepped back in the halt.

Is this a good thing? Does it make judges more honest, or less likely to go with their gut and be the bold outlier?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JIkzqKq7xg

The most challenging relationship we will ever have…Is the one we have with ourselves!

It is by far the most difficult to understand, and just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, something happens and you react completely differently to the way you thought you would!

It’s funny that  we grow to “realise that nothing is forever”, and that “things can happen when we least expect it”, and yet still, even with this knowledge, we are always left saying…

“Why me? or “How could this possibly be happening?”

The people around us are just as complex as we are, yet somehow, though different relationships, we come to learn which people we can trust and which ones we can’t…

Which is more than we can say for our own emotions!

Some relationships are built on dependency, with one person lesser than the other.

This used to be predominantly the male,  but post 1950 and the rise of womans rights, and now it’s just as likely to be the woman in charge.

I was reminded of this today when I saw a woman walking the dog, with the husband walking 5 steps behind with the poo bag….fantastic!;)

The most destructive type of relationship you can have with a person, is jealousy.

I was envious of my sister my entire life, and when I finally talked to her about it, turns out she had always felt the same toward me.

Unfortunately we let this attitude rule our relationship, and we still hope that one day we can find the calm from within ourselves to make peace when we are together.

To be jealous of someone, is to lack the ability to see yourself as anything better, and I have found in life that the best thing you can hope to do is to always turn jealousy or envy, into admiration!

By admiring people we allow ourselves the chance to grow, not through imitation, but through leadership.

And not only that, but we leave room for the possibility that somewhere, someone else may just be admiring us!

Jealousy in a love relationship, simply means a lack of trust, and by the time jealousy becomes an issue, there is a whole lot more going on underneath signaling danger!

The other major threat to a relationship is judgement, and again the person we affect most with our own judgement is ourselves.

Until we learn to accept our own weaknesses, we will never forgive those in others.

I  have talked about happiness, and really the key to happiness is not just about your mind-set, but also about making the necessary adjustment in your attitude.

Positivity, they say, is a person who can see a glass of water and say “the glass is half full”, but I believe it to be far more complex!

It’s really about saying, “yes, the glass is half empty, it could have more water in it for sure, but I’m going to be happy with the amount I’ve got, and make the most I can out of it”!

It’s about turning a “thunderstorm”, into a “fascinating climatic experience”, or a “bloody weak cup of coffee” into a “relaxing way to warm up”, lol!

It’s about making that small adjustment, to move yourself from one state into another.

To let go of fear, and embrace good sense and caution.

Eliminated jealousy, but admire as much as you can.

Don’t judge, but instead learnt to accept.

Destroy loneliness, by finding strength in independence.

And if all else fails, trust in the relationship you have with your animals

Our relationship with horses is special, because it’s ours, and it is even.

He doesn’t judge us, or question us, and while he may frustrate us, he can teach us a lot about ourselves, and our ability to work through the tough issues.

A dog has an owner, a chief, a leader.

A cat has a slave, preferably more than one.

But a horse….has a partner, and we are lucky to share that partnership from on top of his back !

Black sheep? lol

Happiness…

When we are young, happiness is easy!

Give us an icecream, and you can pretty much be assured we will be realitively pleased with the world.

As we grow up, we learn to doubt, fear, suppress, and take on board all the things that can pull us away from happiness.

Other people can do it through sheer spite or jealously, the world can do it through ill-fortune, ill-health, or plain bad luck….

Or, and most importantly, we can do it, by allowing ourselves to be weighed down by all the hundreds of millions of reasons why we may not be happy.

They say the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”, and no matter who you are, or what you have, you will always search for more.

Searcing for more, or trying to achieve greatness, is fine, in fact it’s healthy!

But saying to yourself, I am not good enough, I am not worthy, or strong, or well enough, or I will never be as good as someone else, and you will make that your reality.

I’m not saying this because I am one of those lucky people who can see the bright side in everything.

I’m saying this because for 10 years I had severe depression, and I know now, that NO-ONE, and nothing, could have saved me, but me.

Happiness, in the end, is a state of mind, and it took a lot of determination, and will power, to say “I can pull myself out of it”!

I did, in the end, and now I can see the good in most things, mostly  because  for a long time I could only see the bad.

However, you can not tell a person who is down, or beaten, or depressed, to just “be happy”, or to see the bright side, it is something they have to pull out from within themselves.

Luckily now, I thank my mum everyday, that I am living my dream riding horses, and if I never win a single test, I am just so happy everytime I enter the stable, and see my beautiful horses, and the look on their face when they see me !

Happiness in dressage is not in winning, but in teaching your horse the flying change, and his proud expression when he knows he did it right!

Watching on a stormy day as the world drifts away from you, and in an arena full of chaos, you and your horse work in your own bubble.

And luckily for me, in addition to my horses, if you give me an icecream, i’m pretty much all set!!

Happiness

Everybody wants it, but it’s not so easy to get,

If you don’t appreciate it, you haven’t been hurt yet.

It comes and goes like the seasons, lifts us up when we are down,

you won’t know how much you miss it, until it’s no longer around.

Bad people try to buy it, or steal it from their friends,

but in the end they’ll loose out, cause this is one thing that depends…

On forgiveness, trust and kindness, on going after the things that count,

Being good to others, is really what it’s all about.

Some don’t know they have it, until it goes away,

and will try to recreate it, with each new passing day.

If you think you cannot get it, try to share your neighbors pile,

It may not be the real thing, but it will keep you for a while.

It will come when you least expect it, although it may not stay so long,

The sorrow that follows this feeling, only much us that more strong.

Enjoy it when you have it, and care for those that don’t,

But always believe “I will be happy”, and never say “I won’t”.

When I was young I found old people fascinating.

They don’t know how to update their status, or tweet, or even use capslock on the computer, but they know more than we will ever know.

They have seen the world before us, lived through war, survived famine, and in today’s world of texting your emotions, and “beware of the neighbour”, I envy their sense of community.

Rich people, can become ruled by that title, and if you count the number of rich people you know on your fingers, then put the finger down if they are unhappy, you can usually end up with a fist.

Poor people, get lost in our consumer society, or perhaps they lose the will to care.

I once gave a sandwich, (a good one!), to a homeless man on the street, and he threw it at me and swore in Russian.

Yes, I felt pity for him, but I meant nothing by it, and ended up feeling far worse, and minus one sandwich.

Some people can dream, and laugh and smile, no matter how bad things get, and I envy those people, as I am a little bit of a stresser .

I have learnt however, to take in the good people, and block out the bad.

In a society who cares far too much about what other people think, it’s up to you to decide what you take to heart and what you don’t.

For sure ,people are funny creatures….

They put eachother down, abuse eachother, and sometimes forget that we are all in it together.

Perhaps that is why so many people seek animal companionship, cause an animal will never judge or humiliate you.

They won’t comment on what you’re wearing or how deathly awful your hair looks, or your voice sounds.

They seek your approval and nothing more, and will do anything to get it.

If only people were as simple!

Instead of asking yourself what type of person you are…ask yourself what type of person you want to be?

A lot can change in the space of a month, a year…..four months

YOU CAN….be a dreamer

and if you can’t be, don’t tell the dreamers they can’t either!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UybMtXXN1Y

A wise woman once told me that everyone is addicted to something….

Some have the more well known addictions, like smoking or alcohol, while others addictions can be less obvious, some good and others bad.

Some people are addicted to reading, some researching, some can’t live without caffeine, and others can’t concentrate until they have had that morning cup of tea.

Perhaps some people become addicted to other people, and become so much a part of someone else they forget who they are themselves.

I remember that after more than 60 years of marriage my grandparents had become practically a two person in one package, and when my grandpa left first, my grandma lost a sense of what she was really doing here.

I’m addicted to running, not because I think I am unfit, but because it is the one time in my life that I feel no-one can touch me.

Ridiculous, as of course I am not so fast that I am invincible, yet (lol), but something about it makes me feel free.

The same goes when I am on my horse, and my usual very busy mind becomes quiet.

I have often been told that people are surprised by how concentrated I am on the horse, given my rather uncalm personality, but perhaps I have just found the thing that I was meant to do.

So then, what is your addiction? What can’t you live without?

And what is it about being on top of a horse, that you cannot live without?

I know I couldn’t!

Everyday, every second, we see and hear things that remind us of different times in our lives, different people, different events.

When I see a father kiss his son, I am reminded how much I miss my father…

When I see an old couple walking hand in hand, I’m reminded of my grandparents…

When I see love and admiration on someone’s face, I think of all the times I have seen that or felt that in my life.

Songs in particular, remind us of different people, or certain feelings, and while some songs may make you feel all warm and fuzzy, others have you rushing madly for the OFF switch on the radio!

Some of mine include…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfKb_WEkCE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCNJBopK25I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yadH8J5tbRg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSwL9deXNW8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0

What songs mean what to you?

Or what is the hardest thing for you to look at and not be taken back to a place that you remember with perfect clarity?

Memories are what we take will us everywhere we go, in everything we do.

Perhaps that is why I enjoy horse riding so much, because for the 60 or so minutes everyday on my horse, I am not thinking about the past or even the future, and I can just be PRESENT!

They say only a surfer knows the feeling, but I think a horse rider has a fair idea !

Horses also have memories, and will never forget being treated unfairly, or with force!

I wondered if the horse, when in total concentration with his rider, can also block out the world, and I believe this to be absolutely true.

Someone tried to tell me that a horse doesn’t remember, that if you do the perfect flying change, and then stop after the diagonal and give him a sugar lump (my treat of choice) he will not recognise that the reward was for the change.

How come then, after just two times of doing this, my horse new to stop immediately after a good change and turn his head round to receive his sweet reward, but after a bad change he knew not to bother?

Stare into the eyes of your horse, and ask yourself if he remembers you, the eyes never lie.

The same as with the people we let into our lives

Did you miss the sneak peak of Anja Beran?